Executive Presence (EP). Sylvia Ann Hewlett.

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What do I love about: Executive Presence?

Absolutely practical. I love this book because the writer breaks down EP and provides not only anecdotes but also practical steps across the 3 pillars of EP: gravitas, communication and appearance. The writer also provides great guidance on feedback as a mechanism for building EP as well as how to balance authenticity and conformity.

What do I not love about: Executive Presence?

Zilch

Who should read: Executive Presence?

Every working professional will benefit immensely from this.

Who should not read: Executive Presence?

Regardless of what you do, you will benefit from this book.

Notes from Reminiscences of Executive Presence

The wrong message and the wrong messenger can destroy careers whatever the substantive reality.
No man or woman attains a top job, lands an extraordinary deal or develops a significant following without the heady combination of confidence, poise, and authenticity that convinces the rest of us we are in the presence of someone who is the real deal

EP rest on three pillars:

How you act (gravitas)
How you speak (communication)
How you look (appearance)

On Gravitas

Projecting confidence and “grace under fire” was the number one pick of senior executives asked to identify what constitutes EP.
The ways in which you are different does not constitute the bar keeping you from moving up but rather the lever that might propel your progress.
Nothing is more important than a leader in troubled times who projects calm and confidence.
You have to be there in bad times as well as good, to show you lead from the heart as well as from the head.
Substance must be the bedrock for someone to be taken seriously.
To lean into the wind when your heart is pounding you must believe in yourself deep down.
We don’t know how strong we are until we are in hot water.
Given that showing teeth draws on so many stereotypically male attributes- aggression, assertiveness, toughness, dominance-its ostensibly easier for males to appear decisive.
Testosterone makes men feel bolder, louder, and more assertive, they say; as a result, they’re more comfortable showing teeth and taking risks. It is important to project an aura of invincibility.
Give everything 150% instead of the occasional 100%.
Sometimes the very things an organization wants you to change about yourself is the very thing you need to change the most about them.

Example of gravitas blunder

Sexual impropriety
Lack of integrity
Flip-flopping
Shallow/lightweight
Inflated ego/bullying
Off-color or racially insensitive jokes

How to deepen your gravitas

Surround yourself with people who are better than you
Be generous with credit
Stick to what you know
Show humility
Smile more
Empower others presence to build your own
Snatch victory from the jaws of defeat
Drive change rather than be changed

On Communication

The top communication skills include:

Superior speaking skills
Ability to command a room
Forcefulness & assertiveness
Ability to read a client/a boss/ a room
Sense of humor and ability to banter
Body language/posture

Elements that make a speaker persuasive:

Passion (27%), voice quality (23%), presence (15%), and content (15%)

How to command a room

Establish connection
Deliver your words as a musician delivers note
Use narratives
Get rid of props
Be succinct

Communication blunders

Constantly checking devices, high-pitched or shrill, over reliance on props, crying, visible trembling, rambling and redundant, failure to establish eye-contact

How to polish your communication skills

Ditch the verbal crutches. Fillers such as urm, em
Broaden your small talk
Get control of your voice
Overprepare
Less can be more
Invoke your vertical
Lose the props

On Appearance

When I look in control, I feel in control- and that’s how others perceive me.
For men as well as women sexuality scrambles the mind.
There is a plethora of research proving the point that intrinsically attractive people get a speed pass over life’s bumpier transitions. They get hired more often, earn more, and even fare better in court than unattractive people.
If women’s leadership potential is unreasonably correlated to weight, men’s is unfairly correlated to height.
A full head of hair for a man signals youth and vigor.
Men and women are turning to plastic surgery as a solution to ageism.

Top aspects of appearance

Being polished and groomed
Physically attractive, fit, slim
Simple, stylish clothes that position you for your next job
Being tall
Being youthful & vigorous

On feedback

Great feedback is timely, specific, and explicit on what actions needs to be taken by you
As a rising star you must learn to become better at eliciting, receiving and acting on criticism. 2^nd you as a leader must become better at giving criticism while modelling how to receive it

How to get the EP feedback you need

Recognize you need it
Develop a thicker skin
Routinely ask for specific, timely, prescriptive feedback
If you cannot get actionable feedback from your superiors, ask for a coach or pay out of pocket yourself
Create a circle of peers with whom you can share feedback
Cultivate a sponsor
Listen for the ring of truth
Demonstrate you will act on the feedback you have been given
When you are given vague criticism. Get clarity by asking how your behavior is negatively impacting outcomes
Do not burst into tears

Tactics on how to give feedback like a true leader

Give frequent, discrete pointers rather than semi-annual downloads
Do not impart feedback when you are angry
Put the good things out there first
Embed correctives in your criticism
Catch people when they are getting it right
Preface feedback with the assurance that you have the persons best interest at heart and wish to ensure their success
Discuss appearance in the context of personal branding
Enlist a third party

Goldilocks syndrome: You are never just right. You are too this, you are too that and you will always be, because what is behind it is hidden bias

How to win greater latitude: insights and strategies

When you show teeth, show that you have the best interests of the team at heart
When speaking truth to power widen your band or receptivity with a judicious use of humor
Hit the mark by taking more careful aim. Pick your target, pick your moment, and fire your best shot. If I am participating in a meeting my first communication cannot be meek. I do not speak up unless I have a good point to make or insight to add. I usually wait to speak until I am prepared to make a counterpoint or ask an insightful question. The opposite applies if I am leading the meeting, I take charge immediately by offering a bold statement. I do not do small talk or ask about people’s weekends or their family. Here is what I need. Here is my objective. Let’s get started.

Build a personal brand that grants you lots of latitude to be you- and be relentless in projecting it
Buy more EP latitude by wielding your credentials more consciously
Show you care- Many people feel constrained by parameters that narrow the choices between comfort and conformity

Tactics to resolve the tension between authenticity and conformity

Know your non-negotiables and walk away
Never try to be someone you are not
Play the long game
Perceive slights as opportunities to address ignorance
Seek air cover before you step out to assert your authenticity
Leverage your background
Differentiate yourself by what makes you different