I am one week into (July 25, 2024) my four-month sabbatical, and I find myself reflecting on the whirlwind events that have led me to this very moment. It’s been quite the rollercoaster ride!
It all started back in 2023, a year that drained my excitement and energy. The year kicked off with my third bout of COVID-19, and this time it was severe. My lungs collapsed, and all I could think was, “BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE.” In those desperate moments, I had a revelation: leaving this world without leaving a part of me behind, in the form of my own children, felt like a disservice. I went from wanting no kids to suddenly wanting four. Talk about extremes, right?
That was just the beginning. Next, my tenant decided to stop paying rent. In an attempt to escape my woes, I went on a trip to Tulum, Mexico, with friends I hadn’t seen in 21 years. It was fun, but the universe wasn’t done with me yet. Upon returning, my car was broken into, and valuables were stolen. Then, on my birthday in March, I left Dallas, Texas, heartbroken after discovering a romantic connection had severe temper issues and kept weapons. The universe’s irony hit hard when I met a kind man at the airport lounge, heading home after his niece’s funeral—she was tragically murdered by her boyfriend. He gifted me a book for my birthday and vanished, leaving me with the profound message the universe had intended.
Determined to change my fortunes, I threw myself into new pursuits. I signed up for a bodybuilding competition and got signed with a top modeling agency in Canada. Work consumed me, and by summer, I felt like I had turned things around. I won all my competitions and received numerous audition and photoshoot requests.
August took me to Jamaica with friends and Panama for a conference. By fall, I was also teaching, and then I hit a wall of exhaustion. For the first time, money became the enemy. I didn’t care about it anymore. My drive for financial success felt like the root of my frustration. The desire for four kids morphed into a vision of being a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM), which felt absurd for someone like me. Joy vanished from modeling and work, replaced by anxiety and a sense of being in the wrong place. I hit rock bottom, mentally, physically, and emotionally blocked.
Fortunately, the universe sent me a lifeline. I met people who had taken sabbaticals, planting the seed for my own. Initially, I planned for a year off starting in fall 2024. But after a harrowing winter, with my father’s emergency brain surgery and navigating family drama, it became clear I needed a break sooner. By 2024, I had no desire for bodybuilding, modeling, teaching, or work. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel like a failure. I was grateful for my achievements despite my struggles.
As I planned my sabbatical, I realized a year off was too long and financially burdensome. Plus, I actually love my job. So, I settled on four months. Despite financial challenges, tenant issues, family responsibilities, and celebrations, I promised myself this time off. Even my attempts to pick up teaching failed, as if the universe insisted I needed this break.
As I write this, a lot has changed since last year. I no longer see myself as a SAHM, nor do I want four kids. I’ve realized I love my job and earning money. And guess what? I can dream again. I am a dreamer who is extremely driven. My ability to visualize my future is returning, and I can’t wait to embrace it fully during my sabbatical.
During this time, I plan to wander on Mondays, exploring new areas, reading, and studying AI. I’ll rekindle hobbies like dancing and golfing, attend another 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat, and definitely date more. Post-sabbatical, I aim to maintain at least one hobby a week, travel every three months, and take a 4-6 week sabbatical every three years.
This plan may evolve, as change is the only constant. But for now, I’m excited to embrace this new chapter of my life.