If only I listened earlier? 3 lessons from my papa

For many that know Prof Eng. Joseph Ofulue, he is a tough one. I use both titles because the man never plays with them. LOL. Don’t tell him I teased him in public. His eccentric approach to parenting and teaching is quite commendable.

Only now do I think back and appreciate all his admonition. I wish he knows how much I love him. This in no way means I love him more than my mama who I have a bucket full of experiences to share about.

I will use this opportunity to share 3 major things I wish I had listened to/ understood earlier in my life- I would have been a way better person today.

Friends you keep

I got into secondary school grade 7 at 8. WHAT!!!!!. I know right.  Not sure what my parents were thinking but anyways. My Dad began to take particular attention to my friends. He would ask about their family background. My old man particularly found kids with influential backgrounds attractive. I never really understood what he meant by the influence such friends could make on my life trajectory.

For kids without the admired family background, he was keen to know their values, goals, and drive. How was I ever supposed to understand the lesson he was trying to teach at such young age. I rebelled all the time and defended my friends who didn’t fall into this two categories.

Thinking in retrospect and realize that all he was trying to tell me was- Show me your friends, I’ll tell you who you are. I cannot begin to overemphasize the impacts my friends have made on my life consciously and unconsciously, the opportunities I have gotten due to my association with some of my friends and the lifelong families I have made in friends.

Power of Books

This one is funny because my parents still have a copy of the first book they bought me before I turned 2.  How was I supposed to read anything at that time? This was all fun until my father started handing me his complex books at that time to read before I was 8 years old. Some of the books he made me read were- Richest man in Babylon, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Some farm book, a deep spiritual book- I forget their names.

I could not comprehend these books and found them utterly boring. Dumb me- I would copy the book summary and hand it over to my Dad who demanded a summary of what I read. Trust me, I hated this exercise and I still do. The man would lash at me with all his might. As I grew smarter or wiser and rather than copy the book summary verbatim, I would make some slight adjustment but my Dad still found me out. I was definitely too young to understand that I did not have the skills to produce pseudo-impeccable summaries.

I remember reading a children’s bible twice and got overly interested in religion because I found so much flaws in the bible stories, I was particularly skeptical and rebellious about the book of Revelations- My schoolmates suffered the consequences of this with my never ending arguments.

My Dad worsen my dilemma by handing me religious books that were quite controversial. The only book I remember truly enjoying or reading with interest was a book on Princess Diane and this was at 10. The only book I never completed till now and I don’t think I will ever read, even with my sudden interest in books is – The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. I was much older when I got this one (15 years) but mehn it was boring. Now I think back and I wish, if only I had taken those exercises seriously, I would be a better writer, speaker and my vocabulary would be top notch.

The producer mentality

If my Dad had his way, he would have ensured we never consumed anything we did not produce. He kept on singing – The world is run by producers and not consumers. He would curse and cry each time he saw me too involved in consumerism. As I became a teenager I decided my life goal was to be a super model- LMFAO.

My Dad try to steer my actions towards designing rather than modelling clothes. I was solely interested in wearing all those cute cloths and walking the runway or killing billboards. My Dad would print me articles on how to learn fashion designing, while my mum would laugh at our Sisyphean arguments. For some reason my mum knew I would not settle into modelling even though I was so passionate at the time. I look around me today and I understand that to truly have a fulfilled life you have to be a producer.

For me, I have a wide scope of what producing truly means. It is anything at all that creates utility for another individual. It could be a product you sell, or any kind of service you render. Today, I am glad that the average millennial / generation Z is constantly thriving to produce!!!!!

Hope you enjoyed my story. Please take time to share a lesson you wish you had taken seriously earlier on in life.